being a doctor

Actually when I was a child, it never crossed my mind that I want to be a doctor.
But as I grow up, I see things around me and suddenly feel wanting to be a doctor.
I know it may sound weird and fake, but seriously, I want to be a doctor merely to save people. I know a lot people wanting to be a doctor or thinking to be a doctor because people say that you will get rich easily by being a doctor.
Of course, I need money to live my life and I will still bill my patients like what people do. It doesn't mean that I will give everything for free since I said that my original intention is to save/help people.

For me, I want to be a research doctor and find a way or medicine for incureable diseases. I want to let people who has those diseases to be cured and able to dream about future.
Those people who have deadly incureable diseases, I am sure it is very painful for them. They have to forget everything that they have planned for the future as well as give up on their dream.
People always say that if you can dream it, you can do it; if you try your best, your dream will come true; nothing is impossible, etc. But for those people, is there still any hope for them? Many of those patients have to give up their future, job, dream, love and relationship with people. Some are even being left by their own family.

However, now I am not in medicine department of anywhere near to my dream. Like Susan Boyle's song, I dreamed a dream. It is still a dream. People around me did not give me permission to enter medicine school. It is true that I feel very disappointed and want to blame them for that. But still, I also hate myself. Only if i have stronger will, I might be able to persuade them or force them to accept my decision. At the end, it's my own fault that I didn't get to fulfil my dream.

Then again, back to what I have said above about those sick people, it was not their fault that they cannot achieve their dreams. Life is just too cruel, isn't it? That's why, I really hope that there will be people who have the same thinking like me and try their best to cure those people, so that they will be able to dream about future.