너의 뒤에서 (Behind You)

The original title is 너의 뒤에서, which means I will always be at your back.. It's kinda like I will always be there for you or I will always watch over you..
If I'm not wrong the original singer was Park Jin Young (JYP). But, I prefer Tim's version to his.

(The song in my blog is this song.)

어제는 비가 내렸어 너도 알고 있는지
돌아선 그 골목에선 난 눈물이 오∼
언제나 힘들어 하던 너를 바라보면서
이미 이별을 예감 할 수가 있었어 워∼
너에겐 너무 모자란 나란걸 알고 있기 때문에
지금 떠나는 널 나는 잡을수 없는거야
넌 이제 떠나지만 너의 뒤에 서 있을꺼야
조금은 멀리 떨어져서 조금도 부담스럽지 않게
이제 떠나는 길에 힘들고 지쳐 쓰러질때
조금도 기다리지 않고 나에게 안기어 쉴수 있게
너의 뒤에서
언젠가 또 다시 내가 필요할지도 몰라
나의 사랑이 나의 손길이 또 다시 워∼
표정없는 아픔의 말을 너는 많이도 미워하겠지
돌아선 나의 눈가에 고인 눈물을 알까
넌 이제 떠나지만 너의 뒤에 서 있을꺼야
조금은 멀리 떨어져서 조금도 부담스럽지 않게
이제 떠나는 길에 힘들고 지쳐 쓰러질때
조금도 기다리지 않고 나에게 안기어 쉴수 있게
너의 뒤에서

Did you know that it rained yesterday?
After I turned away, I cried in an alley
Everytime I saw you struggling
I predicted that a separation would come
Because I'm aware that I lack too much
I can't stop you from leaving right now
You may be leaving right now, but I'll be there behind you
So I can keep my distance, so I won't be a burden
On this path, if you ever fall from exhaustion,
You'll be able to lean against me
Behind you
Someday, you might need
My love, my touch
You will hate me for the hateful words I say without any expression
Do you know of the tears fill my eyes?
You may be leaving right now, but I'll be there behind you
So I can keep my distance, so I won't be a burden
On this path, if you ever fall from exhaustion,
You'll be able to lean against me
Behind you

lyric credits: aheeyah.com

You Can Let Go Now, Daddy

I really love this song..
Very touching and true~


YOU CAN LET GO NOW, DADDY
by Crystal Shawanda

Wind blowing on my face
Sidewalk flying beneath my bike
A five year-old’s first taste
Of what freedom’s really like

He was running right beside me
His hand holding on the seat
I took a deep breath and hollered
As I headed for the street

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I’m ready
To do this on my own
It’s still a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go

I was standing at the altar
Between the two loves of my life
To one I’ve been a daughter
To one I soon would be a wife

When the preacher asked,
"Who gives this woman?"
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears
He kept holding tightly to my arm
‘Till I whispered in his ear

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I’m ready
To do this on my own
It still feels a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go

It was killing me to see
The strongest man I ever knew
Wasting away to nothing
In that hospital room

"You know he’s only hanging on for you"
That’s what the night nurse said
My voice and heart were breaking
As I crawled up in his bed, and said

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Your little girl is ready
To do this on my own
It’s gonna be a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go
You can let go

being a doctor

Actually when I was a child, it never crossed my mind that I want to be a doctor.
But as I grow up, I see things around me and suddenly feel wanting to be a doctor.
I know it may sound weird and fake, but seriously, I want to be a doctor merely to save people. I know a lot people wanting to be a doctor or thinking to be a doctor because people say that you will get rich easily by being a doctor.
Of course, I need money to live my life and I will still bill my patients like what people do. It doesn't mean that I will give everything for free since I said that my original intention is to save/help people.

For me, I want to be a research doctor and find a way or medicine for incureable diseases. I want to let people who has those diseases to be cured and able to dream about future.
Those people who have deadly incureable diseases, I am sure it is very painful for them. They have to forget everything that they have planned for the future as well as give up on their dream.
People always say that if you can dream it, you can do it; if you try your best, your dream will come true; nothing is impossible, etc. But for those people, is there still any hope for them? Many of those patients have to give up their future, job, dream, love and relationship with people. Some are even being left by their own family.

However, now I am not in medicine department of anywhere near to my dream. Like Susan Boyle's song, I dreamed a dream. It is still a dream. People around me did not give me permission to enter medicine school. It is true that I feel very disappointed and want to blame them for that. But still, I also hate myself. Only if i have stronger will, I might be able to persuade them or force them to accept my decision. At the end, it's my own fault that I didn't get to fulfil my dream.

Then again, back to what I have said above about those sick people, it was not their fault that they cannot achieve their dreams. Life is just too cruel, isn't it? That's why, I really hope that there will be people who have the same thinking like me and try their best to cure those people, so that they will be able to dream about future.

♥ Romantic Interpretation ♥

Hello again~

Last time, I already talked about The Wedding Song by Kenny G. However, it was only the rough idea. Now, I will explain the theme/story *again!!?? who ask you to do so??*
This time will be based on the umm, melody? I don't know how to put it, so I will just write it down.. Hopefully you can understand~

In the beginning, the piano plays first. In my opinion, it's kinda like the "guy" inhaled his breath, confirming himself that he was ready to play the song, giving his best, and letting go the girl.

At 00:22, the sax starts playing. This is the first part (00:22-00:45). For me, around this time, the guy was talking to himself. Keep repeating how much he loved the girl. At 00:37, he suddenly started pondering himself how can he fall in love to his friend.

Part two starts from 00:46 till 01:26. At this point of time, he was recalling him memory, from the first time he met her. There were some cute and funny things happenned when he was with her. Probably the girl is quite clumsy and "slow". He felt very happy whenever he was around her. At 01:06, he suddenly realized that those happy and warm feeling within him is love. He could help but laugh at himself because he never thought that he would fall in love with such a clumsy girl like her.

Part three's melody is same with part one (01:27-01:50). At this time, he felt that he wanted to be the one who always protected her, made her happy, wiped away her tears, and supported her. He also wanted to spend more time with her and planned a lot things to do together. I can feel that the guy was smiling when he played this part.

Part four's melody is same with part two (01:51-02:30). The guy was still smiling while playing the beginning at this part. He remembered the time when he decided to study abroad. He was imagining if the girl would cry and miss him when he was away because the girl was very clumsy and always needed his help. He couldn't wait quickly finishing his study and going back to her side. But then, at 02:12, suddenly the image of the girl wearing wedding dress with someone else standing beside her called him back to reality. This image really gave a painful felling to him. He realized that those are just his dreams. The reality was totally different.

From 02:28-02:32, the sax sound is fading away and we can hear a soft touch of piano sound. I feel that at this short time, the guy hit both of his cheeks to fully wake up himself, reminding himself what was the purpose of him playing sax on that day.

At 02:33, the sax starts playing again. This time it's soft gently but sure, reflecting the guy pure (also kinda angelic) determination to let her go.

At 02:44, the sax stops for a moment as if the guy was taking a deep breath.

The sax plays again at 02:45. Now, I can see he was smiling, really smiling from the bottom of his heart, showing that he had no regret.

The guy shouted "May you be happy " at 02:45-02:51 , and "May you be blessed" at "02:52-02:58".

From 02:59 till the end, the guy was like saying "Though we can't be together, my prayer will always be with you."

As the sax and melody fade away, he gently whispered
"...and I will always love you, forever."

Is my interpretation good enough?? Personally, I think that it is very sweet, romantic and touching. *eh? praising myself??*

Well, whatever, anw, I DO love my interpretation!!!! and... I really love the guy in that story. I hope that someday I will find someone like him *AMEN* : )


Deep thanks for reading my loonnggg nonsense post.. I have something for you all as my token of appreciation and finishing/final touch to make your romantic mood perfect.. Please google and try to listen to Kenny G. - Loving You.
I'm sure it will make your day great! and Have A Nice Weekend~!!!!

PS: for those who has bf/gf, enjoy your date~ =)

The Wedding Song

Hello~ another random post by me.. hehe :D

Ehm, personally I don't really fancy saxophone instrumental, not that I don't like it. It's just that most of the time saxophone is associated with jazz music and I don't love jazz music.
But, there is one song that I really love, in fact there are three of them. Those are saxophone song or whatever you call it. They are not saxophone instrumental version from a pop song, but they were created originally for saxophone. *umm, hopefully you can get what I mean*

The song that I want to talk about now is The Wedding Song by Kenny G.
Ever heard about it?? It's a very nice song. Go and google it if you haven't.
AND PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO IT FIRST BEFORE YOU CONTINUE READING MY POST!! =)

From the title, I am sure that it sounds like a "happy ending" song, instead of a broken heart song. And if you DO follow my instructions, you will find that that song is very romantic after listening to it.

Here I am then. I have my own interpretation of this song, even before I know the title.
Well, I do love to interpret songs before knowing its title or translating it to English (if the song is in any foreign language that I don't speak). Quite a weird hobby, isn't it?

First time I heard this song was couple years ago, about seven years ago if I'm not wrong.
When listen to this song, instead of having a "happy-ending" feeling, there was this overwhelmed feeling of sadness and loneliness in my mind. Thanks to my curiosity, I did a research of this song. After looking for a while, I found out that this song is called The Wedding Song. Again, I listened to it so many times to get the mood to interpret thing song.
Well, I am a so-called romantic person and quite particular about some little things like mood and timing.

After a while, I finally got my mood to analyze this song. However, around that time I was very young and not able to describe things in details since I hadn't learned and seen a lot things.
Erm, I don't know how to explain those, but it's quite similar to tasting. The more knowledge and varieties of food you had taste, the more descriptions in details you can make. Like sometimes people like to say "spicy". The word spicy itself has a lot of different types, for example, pepper spicy, chilly spicy, etc. Sometimes you do realize the differences in the spicy flavour itself, but you just don't know how to describe it.

So, it took me until recently to finally able to describe or so-called interpret this song.
I interpret this song by associating it with its title, The Wedding Song, and below are my story for this song. Hope you will like it :)

Based on the title, of course, this song is a song that is being played in a wedding ceremony or party. But, the question is by whom? The groom or even the bride? And more importantly, to whom this song is dedicated?

In my interpretation, this song was played by the bride's best male friend. He was an old friend of the bride. In fact, this whole time, he had been in love with the bride. He also always be the first one who came whenever the bride needed his help. He was a very loyal friend. He always listened to her stories and complaints. He always put her in the first priority, and there were many more good virtues about him. Just imagine a very gentle, kind, and perfect man, that's him.

He never confessed to the bride because he wanted to be a "MAN" first. He thought that his current condition was not good enough so he wanted to improve himself. He studied abroad (most probably in Vienna, to improve his saxophone skills). However, before he realized it, the bride had found her right man, someone who would stay by her side for the rest of her life.

Hearing that news, he did feel sad. He felt disappointed for not being able to be the one who could make her happy. Of course, he also thought of stealing her from the groom, but he realized that it would only make her sad.

He thought about it for some time. He would keep his feeling for her for himself. He'd never told a single soul about it. He didn't want her to pity him neither gave her a burden by knowing his feeling. One thing for sure, he never called himself "broken-hearted" because he thought that she never broke his heart. It's just that his love for her remained silent forever.

At the end, he composed this song for her. This Wedding Song contained his prayer for her and his determination for letting her go. He might not be the one who'd stand beside her, but his prayer would always be with her and protect her. He prayed for her life to be blessed and happy. And the most important thing, he was sure that it was the best way for him to love her : )

-Fin-

Time does fly, doesn't it?

OMG, without realizing, it's already October!!!

Well, I admit that I'm not good in keeping promises in ONLY writing blog. (Do take note, ok!? ONLY in writing blog)

Usually I always keep my promises, but for this one, dunno why, I feel sooo lazyy, hehehe..

Umm, what should I say.. ~.~

Now I am in my 3rd term studying hotel management.. Actually, today is the first day of my 3rd term..
Nothing much from school, except I have culinary art subject this term.

Today I learnt what are the basic cuts of vegie and did some practices. It was fun, anddd I did make a small "experiment", ohoho~

Not a bad one of course, this "experiment" is a part of my creativity!! *bluffing around* hahaha..

See, this is a proof of my creativity..

And I personally luv the one below. It's so adorable. Looks like the "man" is holding to a sword and preparing to go to war, hahaha.. *what a crazy imagination*

Ah, I also have a quote for the day!!!!!

"This is what I learn by paying SGD$26k." *see the pics above* LOL~

(Of course, I'm kidding, please don't sue me, school >_<)

YOG Rehearsal

Hi again, minna-san~!!!

How are you??

As I promised before, I will share about YOG rehearsal last night.

It was very crowded. There were lots of people, I think there were thousand of them.

There's nothing much to say in the beginning. We just sat there and waited. I saw groups of people who will perform, passing by us.

Then, we were asked to walk and go to the floating platform. While walking, we kept chit chatting with our mentors and classmates. We took a lot pictures and had fun.

But, suddenly, we were asked to stop and not long after that, a big group of people were passing by us. Who were they? They were the kids who will perform for YOG opening ceremony. They were so cute and small.

Some of my classmates tried to scare them and yes, it did work. Some of the girls shocked and ran faster to avoid them. I guess they must be feeling like this , hahaha...

After those never ending groups of people passed by, we finally can walk again to the floating platform. Today we helped the rehearsal by acting as the "athelets".

As soon as we sat, they started the rehearsal. I was expecting something ordinary while in fact, it turned out to be something good. Most of the performers are elementary and secondary school students. They were really good. Guess, they had been through "merciless" training, maybe??

Anyway, the rehearsal was very nice and I did take lots of pics and videos *giggle giggle*

This is one of the pics that I took

Inside this photo, yes, they are my classmates. However, this isn't all of them. I have 45 people in my class. (what a huge class, isn't it!?)

My First Violin Lesson

Today was a very special day to me coz it was my first day of violin lesson.

In the morning as I woke up, I felt very excited~ XDD
I cleaned my room first and did my usual activities.
And then, when the clock was pointing at 3, I went to take a shower and prepare myself.
Maybe because I was too excited, at the end I ended up coming too early. My teacher had not been there yet. So, I was waiting for him or her.. ( I still didn't know who my teacher is).
At 4:05 PM, she came in and greeted me. (Oh, it's a her).
Then, we went to my classroom. It was a small room almost the same size as my queen bed, maybe in the size of 2mx2m?

Anyway, I started my lesson. She taught me how to hold my bow and violin. I had no problem when holding my violin and putting on my shoulder, but I did have problem in bowing. My right hand was so stiff and nervous (I guess). She kept telling me to relax, relax, and relax, which I always failed to do.

Thirty minutes seemed very short and before I know, the lesson ended. Today there wasn't much that I learned, but I felt very happy because now I can make my violin sing~ not making some weird sound like I did before I attended the lesson.

Now, I have to go back home as soon as possible because at 5:30 PM, I have to attend a full dressed rehearsal of YOG opening ceremony in floating platform. I will share you all my experience there later.

For the time being, c ya~!!

Hola~~

WOW, it's sure been a very very long time since the last time I posted in my blog..

Hello, minna-san~~
Did anyone miss me?? (of course no!) ahaha..

Umm, btw, this is my first post using my new laptop which I bought last week..

My old laptop spoiled >_<

It was working normally the night before, but the next morning I could not turn it on.. I was panic and immediately went to Sony Service Centre.

According to Sony's staff, my motherboard has spoiled and it is most likely coz of short circuit "dammit electricity!!* )

Then, I asked whether I can fix my laptop, but the staff laughed and said that instead of fixing my old laptop, it's better for me to buy a new one because of fixing cost is almost the same as buying a new one..

So, I called my papa and he told me to just buy a new one..

That night I cried coz I really don't want to change my laptop.. It might be quite old and the machine is not as updated as the new one, but still, it was my first laptop and I REALLY love it..

However, I need to make up my mind and buy a new one. Therefore, the next day I went to buy a new laptop.. At first I tried to find a similar laptop to the old one, but I couldn't find it. (guess I really have to let it go)

After thinking for like one and a half hour (btw, I really felt sorry for the staff coz he had to wait for me), I made up my mind and chose one series which was the most similar to mine compare to the rest..

Well, my new laptop is not bad.. In fact, it is very good.. It runs faster (of course).. It's just that it does not have any music button and illumination light like the old one.. Also, I can't use some program coz it's Windows 7 64-bit (previous one was Vista 32-bit).. Some programs like Google Chrome and Lyrics Plugin often got crashed.. And more importantly, I am not used to Windows 7..

Though I love my new vaio, I will never forget my old vaio.. I have lots of memories together with it.. I will definitely try to fix it (when I have the money)..

.....till we meet again my laptop

One more thing, I just found out that some people are using my blog as a source/credit for their website..

Thank you very much..

I feel touched since I never thought that my blog can be useful..

I will try to keep my posting regularly!!! Ganbatte kiku~!!! (but again, hopefully I can)

.....arigatou and

Someday : )

Someday~

I really love this song, its lyric and melody, though I haven't watched the movie.

But I think most of you guys already watched the movie.

Or you guys also haven't yet watched it? Or even worse, never heard about it??

Check it out then. Someday is one of The Hunchback of Notre Dame's soundtrack.

Ah, as long as I know, this song has been sung by three different singers, Eternal, All 4 One, and Chloë Agnew.

I love all of them but if I have to choose, I like Chloë Agnew and All 4 One version better.

SOMEDAY

Someday

When we are wiser

When the world's older

When we have learned

I pray

Someday we may yet live

To live and let live

Someday

Life will be fairer

Need will be rarer

And greed will not pay

God speed

This bright millennium

On its way

Let it come

Someday

Someday

Our fight will be won then

We'll stand in the sun then

That bright afternoon

'Till then

On days when the sun is gone

We'll hang on

If we wish upon the moon

There are some days dark and bitter

Seems we haven't got a prayer

But a prayer for something better

Is the one thing we all share

Someday

When we are wiser

When the whole world is older

When we have learned

I pray

Someday we may yet live

To live and let live

One day, someday

Someday

Life will be fairer

Need will be rarer

Greed will not pay

God speed

This bright millennium

Let it come

If we wish upon the moon

One day

Someday

Soon

One day

Someday

Soon

WOW, FIRST BDAY!!!

minna-san~~

Woah, it's been long time since the last time i wrote the last post..

Lately i have become lazy..

(Are you sure only "lately"?? not always??) *giggles*

Well, actually it's not only about lazy..

I also don't know what I should write here.. *sighs*

So why do i write something today, nah~~~

Because today is the anniversary or b'day or anything you named it i don't care~ XDD

Today is February 22, which means my blog has been here for one year!!! yey!!!

(though i think i barely can make it, upz :P)

SO,

Happy Birthday to my blog!! ≧▽≦

誕生日おめでとう, menou-diary~~

I hope in the future, i will write more and regularly..

Better than last year..

*i hope*

Thank you for all of my friends who have supported me..

(well, now it sounds like today is my bday and im giving a speech for it *LOL*)

Also, many thanks for anyone and everyone who always read my blog despite its rare update..

Hontou ni arigatou >___<

Well, guess those are the stuffs that i want to write today..

again,,

and kiotsukete minna-san~~

Happy New Year 2010

Today, umm, not today..
I mean yesterday, it was December 31..
The last day of 2009.

My nenek (well from now, let's change her name to J, I felt weird myself if I have to type 'nenek' :P) and I went Bugis Junction for shopping..
There was a lot of people there..
The plan was to look for a gift for J's mum b'day..
She wanted to give her either bag or purse.
And so, we went around and around~~
*oh, no! all the stuffs made me drool >__<* *

I want all of them badly!!!*

Finally, J decided to buy a purse for her mum, but she didn't know which one to choose.

So, I help her to choose and on the way for choosing the purse, I saw a very cute yellow bag.. Okay, it's not like what you were thinking about (if you were)..

The colour was pastel yellow (not a bright one) and its just soo sweet XDD *kyaaa*

And guess what?

Yes, I bought that bag!! *hoho*

But, don't get me wrong. I didn't buy it for myself. I bought it for my mum.

She likes to collect bag (well, every girl/woman DOES) and she doesn't have a yellow one.

Then, we finished shopping and headed to City Hall.

We went to eat dinner in Shokudo, Raffles City..

It was a great dinner.

J got problem with Singapore food. *I think it's just a shock*

But, she enjoyed the dinner.

Around 10, we walked to Marina Bay to see the fireworks.

This is my first time to celebrate new year in Singapore.

Last year, I celebrated new year in Indonesia.

Woah, I thought if we came early there won't be a lot people, but in fact, everyone thought the same thing like me.

There was a huge crowd of people everywhere.

We tried our best to arrived in our destination 'safely'!

We arrived there around 11 something, which meana still one more hour to go before the fireworks.

We did nothing, oh, okay, I did nothing while J kept trying to take the photo of moon.

The moon was pretty indeed, almost like a fullmoon though I don't think it was the day for it.

Nah, let's go back to the present when I am currently writing this post.

The fireworks were gorgeous and I uploaded the video below to share with you guys.

How is it? Do you agree with me??

Btw, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :D

Quest for Immortality

today is Monday~~ (such an insignificant sentence XP)

my "nenek" and i went to National Museum of Singapore =D

ah, one more!! Fenny~~ XDD

(sorry, i didnt mean to forget u >_<)

the day before yesterday, i accidentally found out that in singapore has an egyptian exhibition...

my "nenek" really loves egypt..

well, i do love them, too..

but only curious about what's behind the mummy and the tomb..

i want to be the first one to open it..

(well, if i still have my life attached to my body at that time)

*LOL*

SO, as we had scheduled before..

today we were going to visit Quest for Immortality : The World Ancient of Egypt..

(ve..ry.. unfortunately, it's not in egypt itself, but in singapore)..

anyway, better than never~~

*jreng jreng*

--buying the ticket--

(we took one package, which contains 3 exhibitions: singapore living gallery, singapore history gallery and egyptian exhibition)

nah, from the past experience, when fenny and i visited da vinci exhibition..

we should go there first, as early as possible, so that it wont be crowded..

so, from the 3 exhibition,

we went to the egyptian one first..

going to the basement floor..

(woah this museum is more like a mall rather than a museum-in indonesia-)

--entering the egyptian exhibition--

waw

it was wonderful!!!

suteki ne~~~~ ≧▽≦

everywhere was egyptian's artefacts!!!

*of course la~ it was an EGYPTIAN exhibition*

*lame comments*

we went around and took pictures..

nah, btw, i luv this exhibiton bcoz i could take pictures.. (but of course without flash)

last time, in the da vinci exhibition, camera was prohibited T_T

we walked around among almost 230 artefacts spanning from 4000 BCE to 950 CE...

sugoiii nee~!!! ≧▽≦

they also decorated the wall with egyptian's painting, hieroglyphs and quotation from the Book of the Dead..

it's soo damn pretty and wonderful~~

*cant express my feeling in words anymore*

*such a lucky chance to be there*

nah, on the way towards the end of the exhibition room,,

i saw it!!!!!!!

egyptian coffins!!!

wonderful!!!

i never thought that they will also bring the coffins...

and one more thing that made me feel so damn lucky to be there is...

MUMMY!!! ≧▽≦

the museum was not only showing the coffins or a mummy which is inside her coffin..

but the mummy is outside the coffin!!!

i can see it clearly.. (a body that is covered up by bandage)

i wanted to take the photos of the mummy,,

but my "nenek" was quite afraid of curse (so do i), haha..

well, finally i took a pic from quite far, but still can see the mummy..

*hope she wont be angry and chasing me*

anyway, after walking around,,

we went out and continued with other exhibition..

and then ate lunch together in Kopitiam!!!

then, at night, nenek and i went to sentosa island..

(fenny already went back home in the afternoon)

we watched song of the sea..

(well, for nenek, it's her first time, but for me, it's third time +_+)

after thattt...

we went back home andddddd......

SLEEP~~~~

oyasuminasai~~ : )

Hold Your Dream

Hello again~~

Have you guys watched Fame??
It's a remake of 1980's movie with the same title.
If you haven't yet, it's actually a very nice and inspiring movie..
Also, the soundtracks are great ≧▽≦

I am going to post the lyric of Fame's soundtrack titled "Hold Your Dream".
In the movie, this song is a graduation song.
(BTW, the graduation was gorgeous!!!! i forgot to close my mouth when seeing it and start wondering when my graduation can be like that *maybe in 10 or even 100 year time*)

I like this song not only because it has a good melody, but also because of its meaning.
Let's find it out then~!!

Countless hours of learning more
Countless hours of knowing less
Can't look behind you
You have to look ahead

So many doubts running through your mind
All the excuses
Don't have the time
All the rejection you have to leave behind

Leave it all behind

Hold your dreams
Don't ever let it go
Be yourself
And let the world take notice

You'll find strength
When people being you down
They will see
If you will only, only believe

Someway, somehow
Don't give up now
Don't be afraid to succeed

Someway, somehow
The time is right now
Don't be afraid to succeed

Hold your dreams
Don't ever let it go
Be yourself
And let the world take notice

You'll find strength
When people bring you down
They will see
If you will only, only believe

Heart (Indonesian movie) 2006

hi everyone :D
it's been quite long time since the last time i wrote my blog..

i have become lazy lately

(only lately?? i thought always :P )

anyway, today dunno why,,

i felt so tired and wanting to watch something for refreshing..

ah, for me,

watching for refreshing is not by watching a comedy or funny movie..

refreshing for me is by watching a very very sad movie, which absolutely makes me cry..

(weird, isnt it??) lol

so today i watched an indonesian movie in youtube..

the title is Heart..

it's a quite sad movie...

(this movie was taken from a novel with the same title)

the story was about a girl named Rachel and a boy named Fahrel..

they were childhood friend..

they used to play basketball together and running around the hill...

(they live near to the mountain n hill)

there were one day, at the place where they usually played basketball,,

Rachel climbed up the tree and wrote something there..

Fahrel kept asking what did she wrote about,

but Rachel didnt want to tell him..

she said if he wanted to know, he should climb by himself and see it before his own eyes, which was impossible since Fahrel couldnt climb up the tree... :P

many years have passed..

now they had become teenagers..

Fahrel had a hobby of reading funny comic like shinchan... (oh gosh, i dont like that comic)

someday he went to a bookstore to buy the new series of shinchan..

but the shopkeeper suggested him to buy another comic

because the author was indonesian and he could get her autograph..

(btw, her name-the aunthor was Luna)

coincidentally, Luna was near there..

Fahrel was surprised coz of her beauty and tried to catch her up..

they introduced themselves -bla bla bla-

shortly, Fahrel fell in love with Luna..

he went back home and told everything to Rachel..

when Fahrel wanted to give a present for Luna,

Rachel said that better he read Luna's book first before he gave anything to her..

Luna's book was quite sad/gloomy??

the story was about a little fairy that was dying and waiting for her time..

actually, that story was about herself..

Luna was suffering from heart disease...

despite of her sickness, Fahrel still loved her..

with help and support from Rachel,,

finally, Luna and Fahrel were going out..

on the other hand, while Luna and Fahrel were together,

Rachel felt lonely and jealous..

actually she loved Fahrel..

but Fahrel never see her as a girl..

there was once when Fahrel laughed at her when she tried to dress up..

however, she still supported Fahrel and wished for his happiness..

one day, Rachel saw Luna and Fahrel were kissing..

she was really jealous and angry that she got an accident and her legs must be amputated..

at the same time, Luna was also in the hospital because her condition was getting worse..

instead of accompanying Rachel, Fahrel chose to be at Luna's side..

( this scene made me cry, he left her at the time she needed him most >_< )

Rachel finally realized that she had no hope..

Fahrel would never look at her and would always love Luna no matter what happens..

so, Rachel decided to donate her heart to Luna..

so that they could live happily..

and so that her heart ,which was in Luna's body, would always be at Fahrel's side..

Fahrel got the call about Rachel's death,

but he couldnt go to her funeral coz at that moment, Luna's condition was gettting worse..

( he also didnt go to her funeral, what the!!! )

he went there the day after that and he met Rachel's mom..

Rachel's mom gave him a letter from Rachel..

in that letter, Rachel told him about her memories of their childhood and her feeling..

(from my interpretation, she did tell him about her jealousness, but not about she loved him, so Fahrel didnt know clearly whether Rachel loved him as a friend or a guy)

after received heart from Rachel,

Luna's condition was betting better..

the last scene showed Fahrel, Luna and their son played basketball in the place where Rachel and Fahrel used to play together when they were children..

suddenly Fahrel tried to climb up the tree and with Luna's support,

he made it!!

(finally!!! he did it *sighs*)

on the tree, he saw a writing there..

he cleaned up the grass? anyway,

then he saw something..

there was a love sign with his and Rachel's name inside it..

finally (again) he realized about Rachel's feeling..

that Rachel had loved him from they were children..

(he should have done it from long time ago!!!! stupid!!! >_<)

it's sad, right??

when i watched this movie, i couldnt help but kept crying..

also i liked this movie because this is an ORIGINAL movie..

i mean they did not copy the idea from other movie like other indonesian dramas and movies...

that's it for today..

later i ll write another story from an indonesian novel called "Dua Pasang Mata" which means "Two Pairs of Eyes" in english..

ja ne

09-09-09

September 09, 2009..
does it make any sense? no? yes?

then what about this, 09-09-09??

yeah, today is Sep 09, 2009, which also can be written as 09-09-09...
nah, i wouldnt realize that today is the triple nine if i didnt watch tv..
its not that i dunno what date today is,,
its just i didnt realize that it made a special or pretty number..

so, actually what is so special about today?
nothing??
for those whose answers are yes (nothing), dont worry..
same here, i also dont feel anything..
nothing so special happened,
since for me, everyday is special and important : )
everyday is special bcoz it only happens once..
therefore, for me, today is just another day..
only a pretty order of number doesnt make it different from other days.

ah, wait, i was wrong..
everyday is not the same..
but of course its different,,
there s nothing than can happen twice with the same timing, etc.
just like a phrase
"no one can step twice at the same river" (or kinda like that, i dont remember clearly the exact sentence)..

so, in the end, ì still cant understand why people were so excited about today.
some chose to marry or give birth to their child today, just coz of the triple 9..

for me persoally,,
same like what our Shakespeare had said in his super popular book -Romeo&Juliet-
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name will smell as sweet."
(btw, i love this quote soo much XDD)
i think this principal is just same as for today : )

but, i hope that everyone does have a wonderful day for any day no matter what, including today :D

and....
have a good night and tight sleep~ ^^

oyasumi : )

COCKROACH=ENEMY!!!!!

until couple minutes ago i was re-arranging my clothes.
then i looked at my phone clock.
omg! it was almost 2.30 AM!
so late.
i guessed i had to sleep coz tomorrow i have whole day class from morning till afternoon.
so before i sleep, i went to bathroom for washing my hand&foot.
but guess what i found there!?

A COCKROACH!! TABOO INSECT!!!
(shit! dammit!)

i almost shouted as loud as i could when i remembered my housemates.
i would disturb their dream if i shouted.
so i took a deep breath and tried to calm down myself.
*huff*

i got baygon fast and carefully, then, attacked the cockroach!!
oh no!! it ran fast that i could hardly attack it with my baygon.
i just sprayed anywhere around and untill finally i got it XDD yeah!

it looked dying and suffering.
but i remembered that cockroach is a good actress/actor.
it can pretend or act as if it is dying or even already die. (what a talentful insect, isnt it?)
so i took the bathroom mat to cover it and stepped on it.
i heard a sound of "crack" when i stepped on it and i hoped it died!!

i think the cockroach came out bcoz today i cleaned the bathroom and maybe i disturbed its 'secret house'.

*sighs*
what a bad experience.
i hate, ah not only hate..
I REALLY REALLY HATE COCKROACH!!
oh god, why should that thing exist in the world >_<
(guess that it is his mystery)

anyway, i m really sleepy now,,
so....

ja ne! oyasumi :D

first weekend XDD

this friday was my first weekend in my new term..
ah, time passed so fast..
now i'm already in the fourth smester..

btw, today?? (its already saturday right?? 00.04 AM :P )
anyway :P
yesterday (Sep 04), umuni and i planned to watched Coco Before Chanel..
i heard from my friend that it is a good movie..
and by coincidence, i luv that brand XDD
chanel~

yesterday, i checked the schedule in internet..
we planned to watch in Cathay,,
but for that movie, they only got it in Cathay Orchard..
and.......
it was only left for corner seat and couple..
of course, if i can choose, i dont wanna sit in the corner..
and we dont want to sit in couple seat since we r not couple :D
we r family~ (mama&daughter XDD)

then, i checked again in GV -golden village-
ah, they got it, too..
and GV had more options..
according to the past experience..
GV in tiong bahru is not good compare to others..
the seats are small, so it's not so comfortable..
my classmate said before that GV in vivo city is good, so, i checked there..
but upz, almost all the seats were full, too..
after that, i tried to check in GV Plaza..
oohh, they got quite lot of seats there :D

so, at the end,,,
umuni and i will go to Plaza SIngapura...
lets hope later when we come, the seats are still empty like what i saw in internet >_<

ah, it's already this late..
guess i'm going to sleep..
so that tomorrow, i wont wake up late and mess up all the plan :D

ja, oyasumi~ : )

Everlasting Story : )

星降る丘の上に　独りで立ち尽くした
１つづつ窓に灯る明りが
誰もが笑顔の奥　痛みをかかえたまま
生きているよ　この地球(ほし)の中で

生まれて消えていった幾千の物語たち

遥か遠い日の記憶　胸に刻まれた
瞳閉じて思い出す
今　ここに私がいる
感じて　EVERLASTING STORY

私を包み込んで　伝わる愛の力
胸の傷を癒してくれるの

出合いそして　分かれいつだって偶然じゃない

どんな苦しい時でも　支えられている
きっと同じ思いを
分け合える人がいると　いつも信じて

今も目の前に続く　地図にない道を
ずっと歩いて行くから
その先の未来のため
描く　EVERLASTING STORY

私は貴方のため　貴方は私のため
生きているよ　この地球(ほし)の中で


I've been standing alone for long time,
on a hill under the falling stars.
One by one, lights shine through the windows.

Hiding their pain
deep beneath a smile,
everyone lives on,
amongst these stars.

There are thousands of stories
which have come and gone.

The old, distant memories
are engraved in my heart.
I close my eyes and remember them...
I am right here, right now.
Feeling it Everlasting Story

Envelop me,
power of the love that I feel...
Heal the wounds in my heart.

Whenever people meet, then part,
it's not by chance.

In any kind of sad times,
I am supported.
I always believe
I'll have someone
who will share the same feelings.

Now, before my eyes
lies a path which isn't on the map.
So I walk it all the way
And for the sake of the future it takes me to,
I write an Everlasting Story

I live for you.
You live for me.
We live amongst these stars.

Everlasting Story - Satou Akemi
(Fushigi Yuugi OVA)

do i love my life?

hmm, actually i've been asking myself this question for quite long time..
do i love my life?
but before that, do i love myself?
do i accept myself as the way who i am now?
have i ever regretted about my life?
for things such as i was born in this era, family, environment, personality, appearance?

it's true that no one was born perfect..
but, have you ever thought that life would be better "if i was ....."???
in my opinion, almost everyone ever thought like that..
so do i..

sometimes, i wonder, will my life change if i was born in different time or family?
will my life be better if my personality and appearance are different?
will my life be different if i was born in different environment?

of course, everyone wants to live happily..
live as what they dream or wish..
and if can, i'm sure that people wants to choose where or when they will be born..

but then, when i think about it again,
will i end up at the same state as i am now?
since human will never feel satisfied..
we ll always look for a better, better and better..

probably, those thoughts of mine are too deep and complicated..
then just make it simple,
if you have time machine, will you use it to go to the past and fix some things?
maybe, most of people will say yes,
since i often hear people say like this "if i wasn't .... , maybe it will not....."

people keep regretting for what they have done..
people keep complaining about it..
people try to deny and run from their responsibility by keep dreaming and saying "if.."

i was like that, too..
or maybe it's not i was, but i am still like that..
but, as time passes, i see a lot of things and (hopefully) my mind has matured a bit (:P)
i almost never think about those things anymore..
i try to accept my life and who i am..
try to admit my responsibility..
we may not able to choose how we will be born..
but still, we have responsibility for every little single of our actions..

and now, i have found an answer..
actually it is not my original answer since "there is no such original thinking"..
i got it from other's idea..
it may just be a simple quote, but it means a lot for me...

I love my past, I love my present. I am not ashamed of what I have had, and I am not sad because I no longer have it.

-Sidonie Gabrielle Colette-

so, what about you guys?
have you found your answer??